after he passed out we removed everything electronic from his room, stuck in some old books and an ancient typewriter from goodwill. for 20 min. we had him convinced he'd drunk himself backward in time.
I was so high i started crying when i saw how much puppychow was there.
My right arm is handcuffed to my leg... Please help.
You'd be so proud. I have the flu/sore throat, so I've tied a scarf around my head and I'm microwaving jagerbombs. Let it never be said I'm not commited.
Walking in to my alcoholic Assessment meeting with a black eye = 40% awkward 60% awesome
Every time you started making out for him we all cheered for you... that's what sorority sisters do - they cheer you on when you make bad life decisions at the bar.
Also, am I the only one who noticed he didn't fuck you until after you were technically a cripple? Or am I reading into this too much? Congrats on that btw
He has an accent, blue cross AND gainful employment. Just saying, he's going to urgent care once I'm done with him
I noticed while having sex on Friday that I have great endurance. CrossFit works.
My sex life is driven by spite and alcohol
I honestly don't understand how your night went from singing a touching rendition of Africa to an angry political rant to low key trying to find a frat boy to bang to doing dishes to yoga
Accent: check. Hot body: check. 8" dick: check. Feeds me biscuits in bed after rampant sex: check. Should I continue with my "Why I'm not coming back to the States" List?
I cant miss out on a half day of work without a booty call
So many questions...the two most important are, where the fuck is my booze and how did you even get the couch through the door?
Pooping to opera.
Randomize
