Going to a jewelry store high is not a good idea. I look like mr.t's wife.
Tostitos Scoops as shot glasses. Eat for chaser.
When I came in she was screaming "boundaries!" at the cat because it was trying to eat her pizza rolls.
My ex best friend's ex fuck buddy is visiting. There was no other option but day drinking.
Hne relally is a cite oerfect gome. Nes awddddddddooooome.
No. No. And hell no. If you are driving a Honda Fit you are not allowed to give me a dirty look. No.
take 2 Ambien then drink a Red Bull and watch Alice in Wonderland. Trust me.
No one would take shots with Caroline so she asked the bartender for like 20 jagerbombs and then shouted "JAGERBOMBS FOR HOMELESS ANIMALS BENEFIT" and everyone started doing them with her
I felt so bad for you. Drunk Rachael wanted nothing more than to crawl into the cop car and give you a hug. Luckily Mollied/Barred out Rachael convinced Drunk Rachael this was a terrible idea. So I ran. I have your keys btw
Bartenders are not toys. I repeat, bartenders are not toys.
hes like bread. how could bread be dangeous
Do I get bonus points if I get lockjaw after a cosmic blowjob?
and yet oddly the jello shots tasted better coming up than going down
You can't do wine Netflix and blow jobs in the bed you've had since 5th grade with your parents downstairs
Can we climb Your roof?
No bitch its 2am go home.
Randomize
