She really thought E.D. was a sexually position.
her roommate was in the bathroom for over an hour so i volunteered to take the dog out and i shit in the bushes
So my teacher figured out I made a drinking game out of her lecture. Once my drink was gone she let us out. Happy St. Patricks day class. Your welcome
My TA just came over to give us drugs. Now he's drinking grey goose with my roommate and explaining his thesis to her. This is too much.
Meet me at the corner of "what the fuck" and"how'd you get in my bed" in 10 minutes.
He tricked me into going on a double date with him, I don't like that he's not using me for just sex anymore
Some guy Just sang about my ass on the street
It was terrible lyrics but I would have thrown my life savings into that guitar case if I had any.
I had a dream that my roommate walked in on me masturbating and I hissed "I'm not stopping this orgasm train for the likes of you" and just kept going
of all the things that should kill me, scurvy wont be one of them
When my beach tent arrives , I strongly suggest quitting our jobs and becoming homeless beach drunks
I'm not gonna ask the guy I've fucked like 3 times if he is insecure about his eyebrows.
When he said he lived in a closet I thought he meant his room was really small or something... But he actually has a queen size mattress on the floor of his roomates walk-in closet.
The walk of shame was so much longer today. i have to start fucking guys in my own postcode.
my lips are numb and my face feels like a pool. PENGUINSSSSSS
Share, now.
I'm just happy stripping was the reason you fractured your hand
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