You look at her and you just know the only action she's gotten is from her tampon..
He just knocked over the beer pong table... I haven't seen so much fail in one room since I watched "Mall Cop" with my grandma
defrosting a beer in the microwave. no sparks so far.
You then began crawling around in the grass with a magnifying class saying you were searching for the magic school bus.
someone was throwing condoms at us.
no, they just magically show up around you.
She's currently celebrating her completion of "Sober October" with "Margarita Shit-Show November."
kool aid jammers and 151...our childhood has officially been corrupted.
You were pouring Patron into the window of the squad car trying to get the police dog to drink it
So thats why that cop beat my ass?
Probably
Today's goal is to get out of bed, before I take a shit. This might be hard
Pass or fail tho
I have just found the cubicle of sustenance. And I will rejoice at all the families that have not found this magic. This vodka cubicle of magic.
I just found your ripped underwear on my chandelier. Care to explain?
He was telling me how he was trying to grow up. And then 2 minutes later, he told me he was tripping on lsd for the first time.
Would you be opposed to me keeping a live lobster in the shower for a bit?
I just puked into a clean basket of laundry.
I am the image of restraint, it's why im just hungover and not in the hospital
Randomize
