So the hot 23 year old i went home with last night is really 17 and was here for orientation.. i feel like a pedifile...
In that case, you should probably come up to the union, orientation is in full swing, your kind of guys ;)
cunt.
note to self: Never ask your girlfriend to have a 3some with your ex...
Wow, t9 really hates the phrase "slap her in her sanctimonious pie-hole."
all thats left of you is your magnum wrapper on my dresser
The old saying is "its not the size of the boat-- but the motion of the ocean" is obviously for those on the "Small side." I am of the belief that "You can't churn butter with a toothpick"
cum and cheesecake for breakfast...don't fucking tell me pride week isn't awesome
Putting the hydrocodone in Pez dispensers. Do you want Speedy Gonzales or Darth Vader?
apparently drunk me likes to play hide the puke.. was not a fun time washing all my legos.
After we had sex he bought me grape soda. I think I'll keep him.
would you say our friendship is at the "help each other shave animal patterns in each other's pubes" phase?
Facebook stalking ex-girlfriends who went to rehab. This is my life.
The fact that there are multiple ex-girlfriends who have been to rehab concerns me
I made a Russian puke. I outdrank a Russian. I am unstoppable.
i gave up on the vacation being fun the night i ate all the marshamallows out of the lucky charms while everyone else was having sex in the condo
Okay... I just said "preach it" to the pokemon theme song. I'm hammered.
like honestly, the vodka had to go somewhere, and your moms soap dispenser just seemed right at the time..
Randomize
