How drunk are you??
I'm flawless.
Is it wrong to beat off to a girl to determine if you like her or not?
Reason #84 I'm on my way to becoming a crazy cat lady: I called the police last night because I heard a noise and the cats were acting funny like they were trying to tell me something. The 3rd time the dispatcher repeated "the cats are acting funny?" I yelled and told her to have an officer ask the cats what happened.
I actually kind of like the booze poos. It's like a colon cleanse. I feel skinnier.
There I was staring at a teeny weeny black one and a huge white one. It was like an episode of Myth Busters
Ifound a recepit for a hotel room in my sock. soo.. Ithink thats where my dog is.
I just conducted a skype meeting drunk and in the middle of a cornfield. I don't even think they noticed.
Came so hard when I was riding him that I actually bit some of his chest hair off. He said I was the first girl ever to do THAT.
I'm sorry I didn't respond. I had a shit day. However, I just masturbated to Adele's Rolling In the Deep while crying. It was oddly therapeutic.
Riding the train home at 6 am for class still drunk is losing its novelty in my junior year
I told him we could use my stove to make weed brownies, from that point on he kept reffering to me as "best pledge ever"
You should make us a hot pocket to split while I go throw up.
Are u guys proud? I puked my brains out last night at a strip club. While my two fave strippèrs held my hair
Btw there's a hedgehog in my room. Don't get it high
It feels so wrong having a picture of my tits next to a picture of my daughter.
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