Dude this girl just said she'd take me to pleasure town while giving me head
Will Ferrell is probably jerking himself off somewhere wishing he was you
they ran out of cups so I just drank out of a cowbell.
some girl that im facebook friends with has H1N1, im scared to even go to her facebook page
No period for spring break; use this wisely.
It went from "haha, this will be funny" to "full blown anime porn fetish"
was it good sex?
i mean it was good for how drunk we were. and for how big the closet was
Well they kicked us out after we started heckling the acrobats
We are having a competition to see who can masterbate in the wierdest place, right now hes winning since he masterbated on his Jr. High school bus.
I went back to the party but by then they were all sitting on the floor in the dark listening to we are the champions on full blast.
There is a chick at the bar in a bumble bee onesie, complete with wings. Yeah, I must be back in Seattle.
I'm chasing my vodka with snickers.
I don't give a shit if you judge. This isn't about you or anyone else. This is about me and my chicken tenders.
My phone has started autocorrecting "monogamy" to "monogamish"
That dick was not the dick of a twenty year old
welp, we watched the human centipede high last night and my mind literally shut down, when i came to all i could hear was mel saying EAT EAT HIS SHIT
Randomize
