do you believe in love at first sight?
awwwwww =)
yea.. so can i have your sisters number? thanks!
so the guy who showed me the apt today is now texting me and asking me out for drinks...he's at least 20 yrs oldr than me and highlights his hair, but part of me is wondering how low i can talk him down in rent during sex? wrong?
Yeah..And after he fingered me, he wiped it on my face and laughed.
ew wtf
All my problems are solved. I just got McDonalds and scratch off lottery tickets.
Before he took off his pants he paused and said, "Remember..sometimes great things come in small packages."
I could seriously attempt to try and saw my head in half with a butter knife cause im pretty sure it could not hurt any more than it already does
Made a vodka juice box out of a ziploc bag and a straw for when I drive. Doesn't count as an open beverage container anymore.
I'm hiding in a cabinet. I'm going to stay here.
It's going to be so weird waking up tomorrow morning fully rested completely sober and not covered in piss or bruises.
PA to anyone at the party last night and wondering where your pants are: they are in my backyard.
Dude. I've never been with a guy who just wanted to go down on me all the time including while I'm shooting zombies on call of duty. My life is complete.
How high is the bridge and how deep is the water and what are the chances I will get arrested
She swallowed the key to the cuffs, I've been having to explain the pink fuzz all morning.
I dont know. He's too private. After you fuck him find out his secrets.
Have I told you i love you?
there's no need we are two peas in a naughty pod of fuckery
Randomize
