I keep trying to leave, but for some reason I'm staying
let's bang
You're in my phone as 'Weird Bus Guy' so I think my answer's no.
I told them you could toss a salad like wolfgang puck
i just heard a guy call his kid "Google" in a way that leads me to believe that's his name. this day couldn't get worse.
He started screaming "fuck me I'm Ryan Gosling" and proceeded to pick up the smallest guy at the party and carry him to bed.
THESE BITCHES NOT IN MY MAJOR BETTER NOT FILL UP MY SLAVIC FAIRYTALES CLASS
I walked into a McDonalds at 8:30 am with a half-eaten apple and a solo cup. Never felt so judged.
It's gameday bitch. Man up.
i think you may have a shot to cock block in a moment. just saying.
Wake up an cock block please bc these are noises i dont ever want to hear again
Two questions. One. Where are you watching election results tomorrow? Two. Can we have Obama victory sex?
I'm so hungover. I just keep eating the otter pops I'm trying to use to get rid of my hickies.
It looks like I murdered a care bear and put its blood in my hair to warn the others off.
It's Been clinically proven that people who have sex 6 or more times per week are happier than those who don't. Just and FYI. For your mental health. From a soon so be psychologist. Who is drunk.
rollerskate sex sounded like a good idea...
Pretty sure he was in my class in like 2nd grade
I like how you know everyone I've ever fellated.
She calls him the walking dildo to his face. That relationship is already fucked up.
Randomize
