I'm going to shit on something weird... I can't wait
I just used a coupon while buying plan B. The pregnant sales clerk nodded in approval.
If I have to take him to the hospital, I'm drawing dicks on his face
I just had some guy offer to eat me out on my lunch break... I think single life is getting better everyday
At least he's enough of a gentleman to not make me do the walk of shame dressed as Santa.
I believe you called it tequila and nipples. The proceeded to strike a pose.
It would be like a dance party with a dick inside you. I think that's what Ke$ha wants for the world.
I don't think people appreciate how hard it is to fuck in a portapotty. Sarah and I had train for that shit.
Question: trumpet bong. Can it work.
My guy issues hinge on tonight's game. Caps win, it's Dustin. Rangers win, Josh. I even flipped a coin to see who got what team
My roommate is fucking his gf in the shower and i really have to pee do i just bust in or pee on his bed
I mean seriously with your cock and my tits combined we could rule the world. Pinky and the brain style
What's the protocol for doing tequila shots at a baseball game when you're chaperoning for a church group? You know, hypothetically.
If he ever pulls my hair again, I'm going to conveniently have lock jaw. Then he can decide whether pain during sex is still fucking appealing.
She put her coat on went to leave and called me an asshole. I responded with "I never said I wasn't" and then she pounced on me like a cat on cat nip.
Randomize
