So why didn't Edward and the Cullens just kill Hitler?
You need to stop watching Twilight.
There's nothing like vomiting in the restroom at work to remind you that you're not in college anymore.
I'm pretty sure he's lost all respect for me. it probably happened somewhere around the time i had officially slept with every single one of his friends..
She kept screaming "best case scenario"
When my alarm went off, he rolled over and asked me: Bacon or dick? Yes, I will see him again.
Lets just fuck. We'll decide if it was makeup or breakup sex after.
I was just hoping for a dick worthy of his established age.
At 27 it's no longer called 'slutty', it's called having a healthy sex life...
I have no idea. But I feel like I could climb a mountain and then have sex on it.
You told us that you don't have to wait in line at Taco Bell. Then, drove up to the window and grabbed someone else's food.
Dude hobos go hard. I learned a lot last night.
For the first time in my 26 years of life, I'm washing jizz out of my ponytail.... High five yourself later.
She was just trying to do dick voodoo. Pretty standard stuff.
I once took a shot of lighter fluid.. That's not a secret just a fucked up story
She was giving me head, and a cop pulled up next to us. I freaked when he looked over at me, but so did he and rear ended the car in front of him.
Randomize
