he called me "his little blueberry cunt muffin"...how would that make you feel?
Its way too early to be sitting naked at his dining room table...
yea, the bartender wouldn't serve you because you kept asking for "a slice of beer"
I have a sudden craving for National Treasure 2. THIS IS WHY DRUGS ARE AWESOME
Who was that couple sleeping in your bed with us last night?
I could see myself reflected in his wedding band as i was going down on him.
I'm so high I would give anything in the world to be inside my lava lamp right now
A talk about Arizona woman's rights politics has never turned to sex so quickly before.
You're too morally constrained. I firmly believe that you should be less concerned with how young she is and more excited by the fact that she's not jailbait by virtue of a legal technicality.
Shitty. Well if it makes you feel any better I just had a toothless wasted crackhead in my bar who was mad because there are TOO MANY FUCKIN TREES in Nantucket.
I've been there a week.. I'd rather all my coworkers not know that I'm already sleeping with my boss.
You have not lived until you've had your brains fucked out on a broken down Tunnel of Love ride. Life is good.
It was 6am and he went immediately for the 69. WTF?? 6am is WAY to early for acrobatics.
What can I say I sleep with 40 year old Cougars because my mother gave me away at birth and apparently that's why says my therapist
My theory is if i keep drinking, evolution will kick in and I will grow a bigger, faster, and more improved liver by January.
Randomize
