At least we don't have one night stands
True that. We sink our claws in our men.
my brother is so whacked out on percocet from hurting his legs that he started crying because his belly button was so cute
my hangover today makes thursday's feel like a bubble bath.
your address is 607B right?
yeah why?
i need to tell the guy bringing over the flaming bag of dog shit where to put it
Also how the fuck did i get like 30 brown napkins
I drank almost a whole fifth last night. Woke up with blood everywhere wearing a "stereotype this" tshirt. How fitting
just saw someone whip out a flask during lecture... I think I found a study partner
No, its ok. Im playing strip pretty pretty princess im currently dueling for the crown
Wouldn't it be fantastic if the corporate world cared less about about our GPA and focused more on our mastery of social drunkenness?
Do you think it's illegal to work at a bar if you're on probation for a DUI? I need a night job where I can meet men.
KEG. KEG. THE OPERA HAS A KEG. KEG STAND IN A TUX. AFTER PARTY RAVE AND KEG STANDS.
Glad to know I rate above a cabbage on the parenting scale.
this is an emotional support booty call
Pillow talk?
can't do it. no eye contact either.
Where have you been all my life
Dude, someone puked in my washing machine last night, I tried turning it on to clean it...not a good idea
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