Come with me and I'll find you a girl. What's your type?
Vagina
Dude, I'm so high in the forest and I think I'm in a bear den.
Full bush! Can't stay! Need ride! Come on bro!
At Bonnaroo. Just saw a couple emerge from a port-a-potty. Romantic?
so now she's a stripper
can't say i'm surprised
i just renamed my vag "the sorting hat"
all he gave me for my birthday was sperm
at least its a homemade gift
Why is there a living, breathing cow on your front porch?
my little brother just told me that I should start chasing my vodka with slim fast. genious.
And then I learned that we are dating when I said it's out of line to bring fuck buddies home to meet the parents. And then I was single.
I woke up to an alarm on my phone that said "Buy Plan B" and then the guy offered me a hairbrush... which seemed polite at the time
Well that was the first and last time I've had to write "divorce party" on a request time off form. I'm throwing it for my mom. What is my life turning into.
I just started the bonfire using a tampon. Who knew they could have multiple uses?
I love waking up to reeses ice cream. But I DONT love waking up to it all over my cat. I blame you.
They tried to get you to drink water and all you kept shouting was, "NO MORE LIQUIDS OF *ANY* KIND."
Randomize
