i had a dream last night that you and i organized a foursome. swear to god
ps i'll be in miami in early july. this text has no relation to the last one
you puked in the cab and all over yourself and tried to convince the cabby it was there already when he got upset... then you puked again. not too convincing are you
I hate when laundry day is determined by the number of cum stains on my bed
Today was my first day of hebrew and I learned how to say give me sex... I think I can quit now
I learned an important lesson this weekend.... I'm way to good at sex to travel for it. From now on he drives here...
is he the 3rd person to bang everyone in our group?
You need a twittervention. You're better than this.
Some girl took her panties off, soaked them in vodka and wrung them out into a line of guys' mouths! Awesome!
No, NOT awesome. Where the fuck do you go drinking!?!
I just want a teacup pet pig so I can take him to parties with me and never have to walk home alone again.
Why would I take you home? That would eliminate the chances of you making bad decisions I could ridicule you about later.
Omg this is like trying to sleep on a pile of ballsacks.
I'm really ok with inappropriate relationships. They are my favorite of all the relationships. No need to be timid. For crying out loud.
He was doing dishes, naked. I dropped to my knees and gave him head. Teamwork level- pro..
So high that I just walked into class, late, sat down in my desk, and tried to buckle my seatbelt.
one week and then i'm back on the sexual grind. a party is being planned in my vagina's honor
Randomize
