Did you see 7 ppl got hurt at Talladaga?
Did they get their mullets stuck in an engine?
a hangover this bad deserves a feeding tube
His facebook says he is a fan of "underwater handjobs"
In the hospital waiting to be tested for the first uti of the school year....I'm BACK BTICHES.
Just walk straight and zig zag through cars tell you get to the road. That's where I am. Perpendicular to the doors do not make any turns
At one point, you closed your eyes and asked me which 'six flags' we were at
You were sitting on the filthy kitchen floor eating a packet of grated cheese, and you were crying because you couldn't find any cheese.. I'd say our party was a success.
The lady sitting right behind me on the bus has baby birds in her purse. Shes feeding them bugs from a cup with a pair of tweezers... I love san francisco!
Ugh I need to clean my floors/walls/ I actually don't understand why boys get drunk and pee on things
Next time one of us has a party everybody has to wear a diaper. But actually you just need a shit ton of disinfectant wipes and maybe a hazmat suit.
Being with her was like shitty sexual fear factor big ass sausage nipples over sized outty belly button i was scared and drunk tell know one
My boss doesn't know what jello shots are. I've lost faith in this company.
If you saw or spoke to me yesterday can you message me. Trying to make a timeline of the day I was too drunk to remember
BTW, Julia referred to you as a power bottom. Are you available?
Did I fall last night?
I wouldn't call it falling as much as you tried to lay on the sidewalk and proceeded to hit it face first.
No, he came home, unscrewed all of the lightbulbs, and threw them in the sink.
Randomize
