Nicole vs. Life
Ramen noodles and uncensored jerry springer episodes, what a nice life i have.
My mom asked what the mark on my neck was - I told her I burned it with a straightener.
She believed that the monsterous hickey on your neck was a burn?
well, not really. but then i reminded her that my sister has yet to take that pregnancy test and she conviniently forgot about my hickey
Its 11am everyones wasted wearing sombreros and eating fresh produce..cesar chavez would be very proud
he told me he expects me to keep the fangs on when i go down on him. presumptuous, yes, but man after my own heart.
Who topped off the "random beer mix" beer bong with a pinch of pepper?? All you could taste was busch and pepper...
I'll start choreographing the sperm rain dance now
I've got 2 dollars. How do I turn this into alcohol?
She asked if I wanted to "Mormon Motorboat" her, which I guess is just motor-boating her through her cloths. Turns out I did.
Quick how do you hit on a guy in the car behind you? It's important.
I sent you a snap of me in the bath, and you sent me a snap of a taco. An actual taco.
I'm gonna snort this pill I found on the ground cause that's how classy I am. Watch football and eat Beef jerky. Domesticated at its finest.
Do you ever look back on your life and think - man I should have never had sex with that guy
This dude is trying to sext and all I can think about is taco bell and their new crunch wrap sliders
you are the only girl i know that would bring a plate of cookies to a hook up. but they were awesome. thanks. next time cupcakes?
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