Hope the move went well! I'll miss you!
you are a cunt and I hated living with you and your skeezy boyfriend.Just thought I'd get that out there.
I can't believe you blew on her face.
I feel that every long term relationship needs at least one big,load delivered straight between the eyes.
hungover + watching bobsledding = i just puked
Even when three police cars surrounded us you kept telling us not to worry because 'only good things can happen'.
Your last day of twenties? OK. Then I'll give you til midnight. Then you turn into a pumpkin. A big, 30 year old pumpkin.
How do you not remember seeing the kid from our chem lab table and repeatedly yelling "lab partners for life!" at him?
Even completely stoned shes amazing on the piano. There are like 7 people sitting on the ground listening to her like she's the messiah.
Traveling before 21 and traveling after 21 are two different things. There's a whole nother world of red white and blue weird out there
Hey, the point is, I have 3 guys to fuck to get over the last one. It's my golden rule. You told me to find a hobby! It translated as "find another guy".
That is the opposite way I told you to find a hobby.
I think the closest to heaven you can get in this world is your morning dump after a night of Molly
I'm almost positive that you shat in a birdhouse
.... I'm on a random couch somewhere in Newark wrapped in a Lightning McQueen blanket
We got to the hospital and the girls who caused the accident had already added you on facebook.
You can have my vag. Its useless without you.
I was so high last night that at one point I kept licking his neck saying he tasted like soap and truffles.
Randomize
