i've alrwady decidided boys hate me plkease take notyes.
what
nvm
I just took a girl with a hip brace and crutches on a date. she obviously can't bone. is it rude to demand a blowjob?
I took an adderall but just ended up meticulously arranging my farmville for hours
its not that she doesnt like having sex with you, your balls just smell worst then your ass.
Oh no I would never do that to her. But when you're single again let me know. Cheating penis is definitely better than single penis. But she has claws.
Seriously just confirmed via our bathroom scale that a keg weighs 170lbs
I told you he wasn't attractive.
Do you think I cared? I was wiping myself with a scarf..
Ugh. I guess I'm crying loudly or something. My mom just came in and gave me milk, chocolate, a Xanax, and her weed "for the break up blues". Her ways of affection are so odd.
and everyone will high five me and girls will approach me offering blowjobs
I'm taking a shit break of discontent as a personal protest
i just realized... if i ever hook up with someone on my bed, we'll be fucking atop my animated batman themed bedset.
I just want a simple guy who likes cats, tattoos, and doing coke off my tits.
I think I just scared the sex out of my booty call. He saw me at the grocery store using one of those "future mother" parking spots right next to the handicap ones. He just made eye contact and drove off. I regret my laziness.
I just got out of the shower and I feel like I just washed off 10 lbs of bad decisions...
It's totally a relationship. we have sex in other people's beds, watch mad men while high and get drunk on his teammates' beer. don't you dare stomp on my dreams with your societal judgments
Randomize
