Whoa!!! Accidentally took a dump in chick's bathroom at Red Robin. 1 hr for coast to be clear. Women's farts sound like geese taking last breath. Liars.
he pointed at my clit and asked with a confused face, 'whats this thingy??"
ok watching intervention on tv. when i hit rock bottom - i wanna be THIS chick.
the can pyramid on my head actually reached a decent height before I moved.
Their house warming gift for us was a half case of keystone and getting the cops called..
i need to find a notary that isn't going to turn me in for blatantly lying to the us and chilean governments
Times like this, when you talk openly about Tinkerbell being your spirit animal, are times when I'm allowed to question your sexuality.
Neil John just started open mouth kissing everyone to make sure they are safe.
I can't wait for you to tell me about your sex.
It's a short, short story.
That's what you get for doing kinky shit with a guy that lives in his moms basement.
DUDE I FINGERED JOE'S MOM, PLS DONT TELL HIM, MORE LATER
I didn't want him to hear me sneaking in. The doggie door was the perfect solution.
So, then you thought it was a good idea to dress up like the Hamburglar, buy a bag full of McDonalds hamburgers, go to Burger King and throw them at everyone while screaming "HAMBURGLAR!". At that point there was no stopping you.
i have a serious question for you... Why I am i not wearing any pants?
Drinking is such a hassle. I wish I could just press a button and be drunk.
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