walked into a party last night, i saw 3 ex gfs standing in a circle talking to each other...that's the quickest u-turn i've ever made in my life.
I'm doing a half mile walk of shame carrying a trash bag and still very drunk. Save me. I feel like a refugee.
i knew it was time to break up with him once he pulled out the Halo foreplay costumes
you know you made some mistakes when your last two boyfriends are both obsessed with women's curling...
I just realized last night I drunk-bought a flight to Florida for this weekend...kinda torn between the price and the potential of awesomeness
I've been thinking about it and if we ever have a threesome it'll start off with us clothed solely in our matching fur vests
there were staples in my comforter. what kind of sex did we even have?
Your place is a magnet for either righteous parties or crippling alcohol dependency. Lets find out which together
I woke up next to him fully clothed but my thong was around his neck. Polling to decide if we had sex or not starts now.
Well at least I will forever be known as the girl he ate out on the lifeguard stand while people walked by. On the first date.
U know this is gone far when im in the bathroom trying to take a pic of my asshole
I was trying to drink every time they said planned parenthood but my body isn't cut out for this.
suburban family judging/laughing at us after Jenna just pulled two flasks out of her boot on the subway
ugffhh I have work in 4 hours and have recieved zero sleep, seeing that I'm trapped in the arms of a snoring bear man. can't. breathe. lost in the forestry of his chest hair.
I was so drunk I asked my mom if she had always been my mom or if it was someone else for a while
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