I drunkenly sent a picture of my scrotum to the entire baseball team last night
We drank a $4 handle of tequila until 5 am. Please think about that.
she just took adderol and chased it w dog water
omg he fucking fingered me this morning. and i was just like this is the most awkward alarm clock ive ever had
He had to carry me to the car. But then sat with me and waited for me to sober up enough to have sex. He's a keeper.
We tried. It's impossible to cum while bouncing on a trampoline. It's like trying to sneeze while keeping your eyes open.
Dear awkwardly drunk roommate, thanks for stuffing enough change in my clevage that I could afford a pepsi at work today. Sincerely awesome roommate that put up with your drunk ass
You're asking your pregnant booty call to go to a funeral with you?
Finally met a man who appreciates my beer pong skills, definitely a keeper for the weekend
You know, we cock-blocked like 5 people last night. It's like we're her vagina goalies
75% of my food budget goes to wine, the rest to chips and salsa.
so in addition to the two guys I slept with last night, and the third that I turned down this morning, a fourth has appeared. best Valentine's Day ever.
My disapointment is making my balls hurt :(
I told him no rough stuff and he immediately bit my ass. Who the fuck does that?
there is puke in my bra ... again
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