i almost got kicked out of the rave because i was trying to get in on some couple's makeout sessions
Is it bad that I stopped wanting to fuck her as soon as I noticed she had dry skin?
I sometimes completely doubt that you're straight.
Everyone was high fiveing on their a walks of shame home. God im gonna miss college life
i had them turn on teen mom at the bar so i wouldnt be tempted to go home and make babies with the guy next to me
Its 10:23 on a monday morning and im craving jello shots, this is a problem
New high score, I made the stripper choke me while I was getting a lap dance last night
You need to stop having girl talk with the guys I'm sleeping with.
Just got flashed by an entire bus of girls in school uniforms. We then had to wait beside each other at a light. It was awkward.
I shouldn't be that hard, but i cant exactly put "a guy to tie me up and fuck me and then brush my hair" in my dating profile
just almost had a panic attack because i couldn't find the granola bar i put in my purse. i miss klonopin.
Nothing like having your house arrest ankle bracelet vibrate and take a moisture sample at the exact moment you're about to blow it in some chick...buzzkill
He put a canoe in the lazy river at the water and started paddling away from security
That awkward moment when you hear your boss yelling during sex while you're on her couch eating Easy Mac.
im just letting you know I walked in on you with four different guys last night. a. you were all naked. b. they're all roommates
his mom walked in while he was eating me out. and my vag was facing the door. luckily his face was in it.
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