i keep myself tagged when other girls look bad/ugly so i look better
so you had a one ended conversation with the toilet las night in between barfs. you kept telling the toilet how strong it was because its gone through a lot of shit in its life.
drunk me is so punny.
funny how all you have to say is "i'm infertile" and boys are stoked on you
Fact: Telling a guy he has erectile dysfunction doesn't solve the problem.
I don't know what happened to get you in this mentality. This time last year your were ass up on a hotel bathroom counter getting licked by a stranger.
He tried to bang a 300 pounder last night. No joke. I shotgunned a tall boy in a bar cuz the bartender didn't crack the beer. Cant wait till Nashville.
Do I need to take a photo of my sister's enlarged and disgustingly dark nipples to scare you into protection? DO I?
We just weren't working out together, on a completely unrelated note some guy that i talked to on his grinder account said i could crash at his place
I envy your ninja level of don't give a fuck
Signs you do Molly too much. Glow sticks fallout of random articles of clothing on academic row
So it's ironically funny that my psychiatrist's office and my cocaine dealer's house are on the same street
Before we have sex for the first time I would like "eye of the tiger" to be playing to mentally prepare me for what I'm about to endure.
LIKE ALL I WANT TO CURE MY HANGOVER IS PORKROLL AND LIKE 85% OF THIS COUNTRY DOESN'T KNOW WHAT IT IS
Just witnessed a man yell "gonna catch a slut!" at himself in the mirror while doing bicep curls at the gym.
I was...perplexed.
You grabbed my dick don't call me son
Bruh, I wanna absorb into the deck.
I wanna become a plank.
God I love xanex.
Randomize
