Is this a definitive no? All is forlorn? Such is fine, but i'm drunk and a sucker for concrete answers
just when i thought things couldnt get worse, the batteries died in my vibrator.
And then he told me he had the vodka, but he was still in line at WIC for the juice.
where does the pee come out of this thing
where are you?
Hypothermia
Some guy just stopped me in the bar and asked if I had a shot named after me at another bar called God damn my VaJana hurts? He already knew my name was Jana so I couldn't deny it!
Complete silence. Background Willy Wonka music. An empty back of Lay's BBQ chips. These are the ingredients for an extreme acid trip.
She had one of those kid princess beds. I asked how she expected to fuck on that and she just said "thats what the slide is for". I've never wanted to marry a one night stand before.
It's okay. I've dumbed down my notes over the semester because I knew I wouldn't be up to understanding things come finals.
i would compare it to sliding down a velcro-covered fireman's pole naked. no more bearded men for me.
yeah I had to wear a fucking diaper from work home so I didn't get the shitty squirts all over my cars seats it was fucked
We're making a scrapbook of dick pics, you want in or what?
the fact that you trapped hornets in a mailing tube to put in his mailbox does not surprise me sadly.
At this point, I wouldn't be surprised if he laughs at all of our attempts to keep him sober.
I forgot to lock the door last night. I woke up cuz a guy opened my bedroom door, asked me who I was and where he was. And there was another guy standing in the living room asking me if I knew what apartment "Travis" lives in.
Randomize
