What can I expect? While all of my friends are getting married, all of his friends are tripping on robitussin
Brogan sounds similar to Bridget...sorta.
Every girl's name is automatically translated to "Baby/Milk Carrier" in my brai
what's for breakfast?
Advil and throwup
Hes warming up week old McDonalds french fries, putting hot sauce on them, and counting them with his shirt off.
Let's just say, at one point i got woken up at 4am by a naked guy who was offering me steak, in a cup.
asked the cab driver where he learned Swahili last night.
Definitely just puked in this corn maze. Families are staring.
It's one of those mornings where you wake up and want to go to church for the first time in ten years. THAT shameful.
I miss living with her. She was the only person who was a bigger train wreck than I am.
If your mother gets up on the bar again, I will. The bouncer already had a talk with her earlier.
This is the second girl that said she wanted to fuck me while wearing a clown nose. Fuck online dating
You kept ripping all your clothes off and saying, "Let me be free!"
he's so sweet and its so cute. but I swear to fuck if I let my guard down and this was all a lie I am going to become a serial killer.
I just ate part of my sock, this has got to stop.
I'm declaring this weekend Captain Morgan weekend
You declare every weekend Captain Morgan weekend...
You just don't understand... :'(
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