you only like me because i go down faster than a bridge in minnesota
I was arrested last night for attempting to flee and elude. I wasn't really trying to run from the police. I was drunk and lost in the woods. I thought it was pretty obvious when I was waving at them from my puddle of puke that I wasn't really hiding.
She used the word "fragged" in proper context. tell me that's not bust-nut hot.
Apparently he always goes for the wrong girl so it should be easy for me to nail him.
He tried to make eye contact, he should know by now that freaks me out
It was perfect I came I passed out in his comfortable bed then a glass of jack Daniels fell from the bed post and spilled all over my face
Just had to buy plan b w/ my robotic baby from family living.. Awkward.
We would be rich. And the whole world would be stoned.
She has dubbed herself the Pied Piper of Penis and keeps yelling about getting Cocktober started... Will send pix soon
Apparently mr clean magic erasers don't clean blood off the ceiling
Company sent me first class out of state, got so drunk on the plane I started handing out pillows and blankets to the people in coach
I found her face down on the kitchen floor asking anybody who walked by for Kraft Dinner
BABE I MISS YOU SO MUCH LIKE THE SADNESS OVERWHELMS BONER ABILITY
All I want to do is drink an excessive amount of free alcohol bought from strange men, while taking frequent trips to the bathroom to snort an assortment of illicit drugs off dirty toilet seats. Break cannot get here quick enough...
I hate that I still want him to look at me as the vagina that got away.
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