You should swallow it and be like the ticking crocodile. Only you play Still of the Night.
I queefed so loud it echoed.
Turns out they use me as an example of What Not To Do at freshman orientation. My little brother told me.
when she asked where we met, i said the liquor store. the next words out of moms mouth? 'oh that's real promising molly'
If there is a god, you will have pink eye tomorrow.
I thought making out with his sister would be a great way of meeting him. But it backfired.
just walked past the recycling bin in class, there's keystone cans in it. go cougs.
My catholic guilt is strong, but the alcohol is stronger.
She had her insurance card taped to her arm because it was the only thing she "couldn't take off and lose"
Things are coming back to me in chunks. I vaguely remember signing a shirt that said 'I enjoy vagina'
I AM SO PROUD OF YOU
Plus my fingers were hella swollen from eating all these cured meats so it was like I was given it to her with Hulk Hands on
Started out playing table tennis then ended up fucking him on the table. Happy cinco de mayo
The sex was so good I feel like I could run a triathlon, hit big at the casino, and defeat ISIS.
Ok. After that I think I'm going to drag queen jello wrestling if you would care to join.
I can’t tonight. I’ve got to see about a penis
Randomize
