did you wind up at some random place? and do you remember face planting into the fireplace?
Dude, TWO hot chicks on jeopardy tonight. gonna be a good one
Dude, I am so turned on right now. Hot chick with glasses from brooklyn is absolutely crushing right now, taking whole categories. might beat off to jeapordy...
do another line during during the commercial and make the magic happen during double jeopardy.
Apparently i was the first person to introduce her to her clitoris. Needless to say...they hit it off great
I am one bad relationship away from having 30 cats.
She just did a myspace photoshoot with her baby
We are probably going to have to use your boobs as currency to get this done
Her pussy was so beautiful. That's what I'LL miss the most. Not the omelets. You're the roommate, obviously our priorities on this situation are vastly different.
I was in the freezer we were knocking over shit. Speaking of which i asked my boss. I can hook up with girls in the freezer
Yeah just sayin. Whenever you want to come over and wank me off you can
Hey, who is this? Sorry, you're in my phone as "you better remember".
Talked to Nate, told him he was a douche. Will give details when sober. It's ok. You're my best friend together a wolf pack. Olive juice.
Dude where are you? I've been here an hour and all I've done is get head from a random in the stairwell.
dont know how to tell my grandparents I woke up in a frat house in the wrong town and that's why I can't see them today
I need thought I would ever have to use the phrase "Don't fart on that Calzone".. Thanks for that
This weekend I turned down sex to watch the Star Wars marathon... Is this growing up?
a day off where I don’t get laid would be worthless
Randomize
