Woke up to a denim duvet cover this morning... why r guys so tacky?
see you put your penis in her and it's like an ignition key to start the crazy
Making pb&j crepes. Using corn tortillas. So high. I don't know if I'm offending French people or Mexican people more.
It was romantic. He brought over a bottle of Jack to celebrate us becoming official on Facebook. Definitely a story for the grandkids.
and when he finished he handed me a baby wipe so i could clean up. i'm ok with the fact that he has kids, but not sure how to react to this.
I would have thought, as two of my best friends, you girls could have cought me as I fell out of the shower. There are so many bruises.
The fire alarm went off at 3 am in the freshmen dorm. So guess which junior everyone now knows is hooking up with a freshman? This girl...
Because her vagina is one of those illusive black holes that leads to a parallel universe where he is king and the sea is made of beer! That is why they are together!
She literally just changed his birthday. Overly attached girlfriend has nothing on her.
Would jacking off with Benadryl cream be good or bad for the poison oak on my dick?
at least its a cool name to shout when he's balls deep in you later
Well I just finished dry heaving so I think breakfast is a little further out for me
He will forever be known as the toe sucker who may or may not have been a father
hey u leave my anime porn out of this
Saw your dad at the bar last night... And again this morning when he left. Told you not to mess with me bitch.
Randomize
