A joint and a Nerds Rope = breakfast of champions for the unemployed
Your favorite bartender is back from prision
we just watched the ball drop on the spanish channel. best mistake of my life.
They let you pick the name that they announce for you at graduation. The professional world needs to prepare itself for papa smurf mcdonald.
This just spotted: a bagpiping Elmo on the street.
No. I want to vom filet mignon and ziti bits everywhere and my body feels like I ran a cock triathalon. I feel less triumphant and more like death.
the mechanics of walkigng feel weird right now everyone lools like a demon
what does alcohol mean
So I got lost trying to find you guys and ended up proposing to a bride in a bachelorette party with a condom.
I can't wait for you to tell me about your sex.
It's a short, short story.
You sent 2 glasses of water to the table next us and told to the waitress they were on you. I repeat: water
I have a black eye again and dont know why again
A toast to whoever set this year's daylight savings fallback to the day after halloween, granting us another hour to detox before we pretend to be functional adults. Clearly, a partier with forethought and clear priorities. Cheers!
He is getting no nudes from me. I don't even care if I'm losing his legal advice.
You started having a threesome right in front of me.
lololol that's what happened?
Stephanie looked me right in the eye while she was going down on you. It made me really uncomfortable.
The cop told you he couldn't let you pee. You just pulled your pants down and squared anyway and im surprised you didnt get arrested.No more drinking for you.
Randomize
