I'm looking for sex. Do you know her?
i'm officially boycotting relationships. hello random hook ups and treating men like meat.
stop calling my apartment porn island.
she just asked me to help her create a twitter page for edward cullen's hair.... seriously.
I wish I could save this moment forever and have sex with it regularly. Its just tht beautiful.
He posted on my wall. Idk if I'm ready for that big of a commitment.
FOUR LOKO IS YES. SUNDAY MORNING DRUNK IS YES.
Don't worry. I told him just because you've gargled some balls in the past doesn't mean you'll be handling his.
I really wanted that to be shared. Thank you.
Hey, who is this? Sorry, you're in my phone as "you better remember".
Every grown women needs to pee herself once in her life. It builds character.
I'M NOT READY TO BE AB ADULT YET!!!
We dug deep emotionally while eating cereal
No more weed for you
going on fb and having 11 notifications all from you is absolutely horrifying
Okay so I've been talking to the mice again and they agree with me that you're a piece of shit.
The dentist walked in on me trying to bottle some laughing gas to take home with me. That high.
Randomize
