He bought me ice cream and then I gave him a bj
I think that's fair trade off
ra ra ra ah ah
wtf?
sexting lady gaga style
All we had was a keg so we played edward nalgene-hands
Ok the fact that you know THAT phrase perfectly is terrifying. You just proved you can slut it up in mulitiple languages.
I found a horn on the street but it's okay I disinfected it with vodka
Hey did where's my bong?
In the tree out back .... Top branch on the right
Should I bother to ask?
I would never do this in real life. It's only college.
I don't have any bail money, if that's where this conversation is going
Just realized I'm going to have to make you sign a non-disclosure agreement before my wedding.
The sound of my own breathing is making my head throb. That hungover.
I just have to decide what I love more, food or dick.
Would I do it again? Probably not but still,I don't regret a single ratchet thing I've done in college.
We're on our way. We couldn't find our clothes this morning, so we're driving your car half naked. You owe me a cigarette.
I gave him one of my famous hand jobs.
I'm drinking because I just started here and every single person I work with wants to quit and when I asked a coworker how she's doing she literally just started crying.
Randomize
