hi i'm bored and kind of... in a sort of dirty mood
pics
no i'm at a mixer dressed up as the teenage mutant ninja turtles
I got to work, greeted my staff, then went into the bathroom to throw up. Who hired me to run a business???
Have you ever noticed how boring internet porn is after you cum? I can't shut my computer fast enough.
I've never been so happy to start my period. I'm gonna let everyone in the store see me buying tampons.
I want to tell you about my weekend in person so I can see your look of judgement and disgust.
Fuck him tonight for the both of us. We're still tag-teaming in spirit.
You'll be the guy with the raft that sells burritos on the river. You'd be legendary.
You should see the damage i did to the apartment last night. So many broken things and butter sticks stuck to windows.No memorys
There is ecstasy everywhere. Get over here right no5w. The 5 is silent.
I was just expressing concern for your pickle consumption.
Safe to say I relapsed into my old chatroulette drunk flashing days.
When you get this divorce finalized we're going to mid evil times AND pirate dining adventure. We're gonna find you a couple of real men and make them joust/swashbuckle for your affection. My treat.
9 am booty call on your ex's birthday. Fuck yea
I don't know what the hell I'm going to do with myself when this is all over. I'll probably just go back to smoking pot and trying to learn italian.
I probably should have told her I was actually the drunkest one there before she let me pierce her ear
Randomize
