Did you see Brett Michaels get knocked on his ass?
Hurt me personally.
Knocked his cowboy hat off... Bandanna was still good though
My sole motivation for showering this morning was to masturbate. Something is wrong here...
By the way, her vagina was so tight i was worried that i would be stuck forever
I just jerked it so loud the neighbor banged on their floor. maybe my wife got the point
All I wanted was a "this is what America feels like" blowjob before I left. Is that too much to ask for?
im like basted in vodka, i went tanning and it was like i was an alcoholic turkey being cooked in a locker of doom
We fucked then made friendship bracelets, his mother taught him right!
Wait, tell the rest at happy hour. I wanna be able to interrupt you with my loud cackles and stupid questions.
alicia just called me and talked to me in "the eternal language of the dinosaurs" and then kind of roared and gurgled. what kind of 4th of july are you guys having?
the boozy kind. is there any other?
You could be a whistle.. And just ask bitches if they want to blow you all night
you licked my face then when I finally got you to the bathroom, mid puke you said you liked the taste of my foundation.....you weren't drunk at all....
Just bought a dildo. Happy first time single in four years Valentine's Day to me
Please don't bang more than two exes at a time, just so I won't get confused.
We sat at the bar and made fun of everyone around us. I'm in love
whoever decided snowing in 90 percent of campus on a night when the streets are flowing with tequila and skittles was clearly not an R.A.
Randomize
