thats it. im googling how to make you boobs smaller. this is getting out of control.
drugs are my only escape from this reality. good thing I got it at a discount price last night
so i was dancing to the glee soundtrack with highheels. i tripped. and the dildo fell on my face. i dont know what happened.
Crisis Situation. How do you have that "we probably shouldn't make out tonight cause i've got an oral herpes outbreak coming on" conversation on a third date.
he aimed his bare ass at the sparkler, farted, and it really did work...i love 4th of july anal fire works
Now that world cup is done, funneling out of a vuvuzela has lost its fun
hey as creepy as this sounds i still have your eyelashes on my desk
Birthday was great, I got entirely too drunk and made really poor life decisions. It was everything a birthday should be.
Police were closing down the bar due to gunfight and I was crying because they wouldn't let me finish putting temporary shamrock tats on my boobs
i decided what we are doing for your 21st b-day: camelbacks filled with margaritas
I think ppl see us as an unstoppable drunken force
since you saved your number in my phone as "the hot chick you met last Friday" I don't know who you are either
you asked my brother if you could eat the cupcake that you found. you were showing him a baked potato
he doesn't sweat normal. maybe that's what THC smells like coming through the sweat glands...
Can we just cry and dive into a couch-sized bag of sadness-chips, dip them in a la-z-boy sized jar of depression salsa while watching a show called 'Forget Your Hopes and Dreams, Just Kill Yourself'?
Randomize
