oh well we may not be friends on facebook but at least i got laid
you looked like a weeble wobble. everytime we thought you were going to fall you bounced back up...you're an amazing drunk
i'm going to be one of those im-wearing-a-shirt-as-a-dress girls today. dont make fun of me, i need laid
I think the boy in my gender studies class cried when 90% of the girls said they had faked an orgasm
He invited you over for Super Sexy Saturday and Cosmos... I'm pretty sure that's gay
My summer fucks are coming back to haunt me with a vengeance.
He left a trail of vomit straight from our dorm to the bathroom. Looks like we have our identities for the rest of the year.
Having never done that before, When should one expect the horrible shame to end? Days, months, ever?
A week or so, depending on size. In your case, maybe give it a month.
The barista asked if I wanted my drink wet or dry, but all that came to mind was farts. You have ruined me.
Btw before you ask, the dr said there's no way shoving his dick that far down my throat is why i got laryngitis
My roommate comes home screaming, I brought you home a friend! I thought she brought me a guy...no, she brought home a one-eyed shih tzu.
Nothing says happy gameday like waking up in only an ACC Championship shirt in the qb's bed with a different football player
he forgot we were at my place and not his so he tried kicking me out of my own apartment by saying "so, you can go whenever you want...."
So when the drug raid cops tell you, you should get out of the relationship, it probably means its time.
I imagine you as a cat holding your burrito with two paws and cutely eating it
Randomize
