I've decided that my new worst fear is that I'll end up on "I Didn't Know I was Pregnant"
RJ thinks I should put one of the muffins in my vagina. Good idea or bad idea?
Do you think flip cup during wine tasting is a bad idea? They're perfect flipping cups...
He literally stopped in the middle of sex to look up sex positions on his iPhone...
Attention: due to the power outage we will not be playing drinking games and watching the royal wedding. Bring your own bottle and we'll just drink in silence.
We sat on the porch laughing about hilarious the sunrise was. And that we can do drugs again in the morning, thank god
The stripper just invited me to take shots with him out at his car after he gets off stage.. I mean why not? I've already seen everything he's got and it'll be easy to get him naked.
I just got a call from the front desk apparently one of my feiends was dropped off by a handicap bus passed out in a wheel chair unlv is goig down
As the bouncer was escorting you out, you yelled "keep your filthy dick beaters off me!"
On the shuttle bus from the Casino the driver refused to take us to the strip club so you said "let me off this bus or ill puke on you".
I have so many feelings about this burrito
I promise not to pretend to be Jesus and take the wheel. But to my credit you shouldn't be saying that while I'm that drunk and we are in a car.
I wonder how drunk we can get before Christmas Caroling turns into trespassing.
you know your booty call is really trying when he offers to pay the toll for the bridge you have to cross to get to his house
Listen, you can either give me drugs or an orgasm. You decide.
Randomize
