Did yall have sex?
Well we both woke up naked and there was a condom wrapper on the floor, but I don't remember so does that count?
Def not... that's how I managed to keep my number under 10 for all of college- If you don't remember, it didn't happen
Come here. I'm drunk. Family Function. Intense Pro-life vs. Pro-choice debate. Bring Republicans.
Im eating ham and mustard naked, watching south park, but its totally cool cuz the paper plate is covering my nuts
She rubs her butt on the bed & then she growls..
we found him in the shower with a bottle of jose saying "this is Mexico's fault"
my little brother just asked me why i have handcuffs. How do I tell him that his sister likes being taken advantage of in the bedroom?
I knew it was time to leave Waffle House when you started singing "What's Your Fantasy" to your hash browns.
Gina was bawling her eyes out and then she ran into the street and peed. she kept screaming "LOOK WHAT YOUVE DONE TO ME"
Day 1 of the Fuck Your Ex weekend has been productive. Already boned Steph and we're both still glad we arnt together anymore.
That's not as bad as watching a dumb ass drunk peeing into your window fan -
I'm sure nobody at Walmart was wondering why I was wearing a glittery tutu and needed $300 changed into small bills
I spent the entire party sexting people's significant others for them because they were too drunk to do it themselves. I did quite well too. I should start a business
I wiped my ass with some girl's sock, I would honestly admit if I hate Caitlin's sandwich.
I tried to get more sleep but the universe decided I needed a drunken freshman instead
You stocked up?
No actually didn’t get a chance. If you wouldn’t mind bringing me a brownie and a bottle of Jameson that’d be nice
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