So #1 way to come back last night and #2 wishbone and I broke into his house and i opened joey's door and u were both passed out and pantless.
My jaw hurts. Such a slutty injury..
we ike ciroccccc we love patroneeeee shost shothosthsothosthostsssss veryboyddddyyyy
go home
Dude we need to petition the city about running buses later, none of my booty calls own cars
despite contrary belief, getting peanut butter off your balls is not as easy as it sounds
Gotcha. Well, I'm puking and trying to keep down water from a mug that says "love the moment" around the rim. Not loving this particular moment.
looking at my texts from you makes me want to throw up in my pants
Wouldn't it be fantastic if the corporate world cared less about about our GPA and focused more on our mastery of social drunkenness?
Come over we're celebrating the one month anniversary of her first 4/20
Just had a horrible realization. I've fucked a guy with a webbed foot AND a guy with a third nipple.
I'm going to text my booty call and tell him nevermind, that I got the job finished by myself. That will teach him to text back faster.
This lesson is brought you by a psychology class.
I don't know. I was hiding and the bed was banging. I am going to sleep now in someone's car.
I find it weird that you'll let me in your vagina, but not your house
Showed up 15 minutes late and curtsied when I entered the door if that puts perspective to how my first day is going
I don't know how guys can take themselves seriously when they see themselves naked
Randomize
