I had a bacon mcgriddle for the first time today. It was like eating a baby angel.
I wonder if she has a lisp when she orgasms...
we went to sleep in different beds and woke up spooning. alcohol truly is the anti-cockblocker.
I wish you had a penis so you could experience peeing out the window in front of a crowd of people leaving parties.
Fuck, now I'm not only the other woman, but the pregnant one
I don't even want to talk about it, I'm traumatized. Even the dog knew to take advantage of the most intoxicated girl at the party...
we agreed that it was acceptable to get the cat high as long as we gave her a lot of food.
The pride tent is doing free lube tastings. There is also a mechanical bull.
I guess it was to be expected that I was put on somebody's list called penis socket.
I just heard a 350 lb guy with a stutter describe getting blood in his eye as he was shanking his cellmate and, more generally, how to survive as a white guy in jail.\n\nYou should really consider going to some AA meetings
I was thinking more like a "sorry you can hear us, but I'm having the best sex of my life" cake
I knew it was on when all she had to say about the handcuffs was 'I really hope these adjust tighter!'
I'm getting high with a 50 year old car wash guy. Enough said.
I will be the DD but everyone has to call me Mistress
you know you should be lucky to find the case to my dildo....that means no more random guys at the house!
Randomize
