At Bonnaroo. Just saw a couple emerge from a port-a-potty. Romantic?
he calls his bong barack obonga, commander in kief. i found where i belong.
Fuckbuddy couldn't meet, so she's trying to find a substitute to come fuck me. Best. Fuckbuddy. Ever.
He told me he felt like he shoud say thank you and as a prize i could keep anything from his room that i wanted.
All I kmoe is rheres a coffee pot full pf vodka in my purse
I only remembered where urgent care was because it's across the street from my favorite bar
One is full of apple juice. One is full of tequila. This is real russian roulette my friend.
I just want to have weird supply closet sex with him... and then I'll be all set. Fired, but all set.
I bought a sword. Make the proper arrangements.
It is super hard to find a good vegan dominatrix! THAT'S why I'm single
I slept with a Brazillian Man, That's why I'm Watching The World Cup
Vodka, rum, moonshine, I don't care, just bring like 5gallons.
Which emoticons convey sympathy for sleeping with someones bf ??
my mom talks about my drinking like its a problem and yet this morning she fills me a solo cup with champagne for the shower.
He flipped a shopping cart in the back room and had to leave to make a jazz playlist. If we aren't in love then i don't know what love is.
Randomize
