Hey look on the bright side if youre preg at least you know it and wont have it in a toilet
Girls don't like it when you cum inside them and then discuss baby names.
She announced her abortion via fbk
you kept trying to make scrambled eggs with 3 hardboiled ones.
Just made a pepperoni sandwich with cheese, mayo, and pickles. Poverty is like pot, without the happy feeling.
Thanks for sticking it out with old horseface last night... I owe you one buddy.
I guess he was telling a totally normal story about being a lifeguard and I wouldn't stop screaming "THAT'S LUDICROUS" at random intervals.
He's blaming gravity for his problems right now, so put that in perspective
Sitting in the library studying = googling how to get laid in the library.
I am still STD free so as far as I am concerned I never went to panama.
He let him chew on his fu man chew. The man has the patience of a saint
The drunk fake out is her specialty. She'll agree to come with us and two seconds later we check to make sure she's still there and we see her booking it down the hall in the opposite direction.
He probably thinks you're playing hard to get.
Hard to get?? I'm playing leave me the fuck alone.
I already plan to donate my brain to science so they can attempt to fully understand the complexities of my existence
If he knew how badly I want to blow him he’d stop talking about his wife
Randomize
