just watched her puke in her purse and put it back on the bar. then half hour later put her hand in her bag to get a pen to give me her number. I bet she is game for anything
Why did you video tape me drying my boxers in the microwave?
I'm like a warm blanket that has sex with you
Not gonna happen. She just told me she puts glitter over the mole on her nose to make it look like a piercing.
that blow job was not worth the clinginess that will follow
did you dip my ponytail in franzia? its the only thing i can think of to explain my hair right now.
They're re-releasing Titanic in 3-D. Can I interest you in a joint venture to create the greatest drinking game of all time? I think yes
As a jewish boy dating her she thinks everypart of christmas is my first time. Helllllo bj under mistletoe!!
Solid teamwork gives us a good shout of both bringing home trophy cougs
I'm getting kicked out of the place we're at. They don't like ketchup on their walls..
I'm home, and it turns out she didn't get it all. still picking Oreos out of my pubes.
Just fyi there is a naked girl somewhere in your house. I woke up and she was gone, definitely left her clothes tho
He fell into the beer pong table and broke it. Then he threatened to throw the toliet at us if we didn't let him keep playing
I still don't know his name but his ass is spectacular. Like he should never wear pants.
Sorry if that was awkward, i will never call you sober ever again
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