So for two years my friend Mark has been building a catapult in his basement. Yesterday he realized it's too big to get it out.
You need to give me a reason immediately why he is your friend.
I just found a Chris Hansen soundboard online, care to guess what I'll be doing all day?
I told her i was enlisting in the air force tomorrow.....it was like the activation code to her vagina
I puked for half an hour, but I went and danced afterwards, and that made me feel better.
You are so irish.
Robbie told me you spent 10 mins discussing the curl in his hair and that you said "with that curl in your hair, you'll go far"
Hung over. Bed full of legos for some reason. Not getting up. Come build stuff with me.
so some random man just messaged me on facebook "tig ol bitties" should i be concerned?
Sometimes I think I have so much sex with you to be sure you're actually straight.
Saxophones in my mind. I swear someone dosed me.
I need a "closed for the season, thanks for a great summer" sign for my vagina
If you find my purse on your yacht please call me - girl you slept with after yacht party
You yelled This cop is arresting me for possession! Possession of MARIJUANA!!", everyone cheered, and you let him handcuff you and take you away.
I just found one of your beard hairs in my oatmeal.
I'm pretty sure that waking up butt ass naked with a bottle of 151 and a note that said "I didn't want to wake you up, but thanks" proves I had a good time....god bless America
what happened last night?!
you took a shot and then laid down on our kitchen table and passed out.. then when we tried to move you to the couch you screamed "no! i love tables"
Randomize
