I just google mapped his house on satellite so i can really see how much money he has. Does that make me shallow?
we do all of our sexting over chat on words with friends, so my boyfriend doesn't know about it when he looks at my texts.
How do you say "I'm not pregnant in Spanish?"
Got robbed by knifepoint. Then got sympathy Bj. I might have to walk down Austin ave drunk every weekend
She told me she's dating him because his apartment is a block from Taco Bell. I don't know how she's not fat.
If our sexual relationship was relative to the Harry Potter series, I would have claimed the Wizard's Cup at least ten times.
He hasn't responded in 6 hours and the last thing he sent me was a picture of 7 grams of coke. I'm getting kinda worried
And that facial hair. He might as well shave it so it spells "douche" on one cheek and "nozzle" on the other.
Somehow you're a lightweight AND an alcoholic. Rare combo in one person. Well done.
Like not to be gross, he was eating me out while I was smoking a bowl. It was like a rap video
This is worse than naked and afraid. This is drunk and confused.
All I'm saying is this is the exact reason I should not be left unsupervised.
I mean that was the nicest way to be dumped by some one I wasn't dating.
Do you realize our room single-handedly hooked up with most of that wedding party last night?
He ate me out in the warehouse on a pallet of sunlight soap. I fucking love night shift!
Randomize
