why is pumping your own stomach in your searches on youtube?
having my hair in braids makes puking so easy. i am being an indian every halloween
Why do they give me cups on $8 pitcher night? I HAVE A PITCHER.
i wish his balls had a scratch and sniff sticker elsewhere so i would know before i even went down there
sick fucks of a feather flock together
There is nothing more embarrassing than your birth control alarm going off while in a meeting with your boss and they tell you to take it.
the cab driver said that we weren't the worst shit show he'd ever seen, CHALLENGE ACCEPTED!!
Im currently watching two girls making out. In the library. Hope your studying is going as good as mine is. Haha
They took my balls.
My mom comes home from her weekend with her lesbian co-workers and asks "You wanna know how I got these bruises?" I've never been more torn about anything EVER.
No kiss but I got free McDonald's so at least we can focus on what is really important here
336: Dude I lost my.phone Wednesday night at a party and just found it, three days later, on the lacrosse field....what the actual fuck.
He was gone for 5 minutes, opened the car door and said, "Don't eat my shit." and dropped Chipotle on the passenger seat. He was gone for another 10 minutes and came back with Coldstone. That stoned.
hey sorry i didnt call i just got out of jail, so you still dtf ?
I was supposed to see Marcus tonight and he cancelled. Listen, I shaved my butt hole. Somebody is getting this WAP 😂😂😂😂
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