I want the hot one, scratch that. anyone.
Please, do not let 'babydaddy' catch on as your petname for me.
He asked me to grab his balls and yell "thats a spicy meat-a-ball" Last time I do requests.
So excited for tonight I might actually pee my pants BEFORE I get blackout
he just made me youtube cheetahs running and he thinks he is in a pool
the ladder is at the bottom of the pool
Found the puke drawer
He fucked me so hard I had an asthma attack. I'm like the sickly poster child for celibacy.
Can I bring home a duck? Dead serious
I got really high and googled the history of Amish people for like an hour.
she just announce I'm david copper field and tried to shove a napkin down my throat
Can't wait to bequeath this flannel to my grandchildren someday.
'I've been using this to pick up lesbians since before you were born!'
I woke up naked with my work shoes on
REMEBER. We are young, horny, and poor. If someone wants to give us alcohol... TAKE. IT.
He howled at the moon then told me that if i were a dog he'd have sex with me...either i look like that girl or i need to stop going on blind dates. Period.
Randomize
