By the way, your roommate is right. His penis is much bigger than yours.
Wearing a Sarah Lawrence sweatshirt is like wearing a shirt that says, "I'm getting a degree in substitute teaching."
I took chris brown's side in the conversation ... cut to me not getting laid tonight
I looked at my arm when I woke up..I guess after 8 tally marks I said fuck it and wrote "too much"
I think I might stay on campus instead of going home for thanksgiving and see how many townies I can hook up with and no one will be around to judge
he's only going to be home for two days, his dick is going to be in me for the whole 48 hours, he doesnt have a choice.
it wasn't a normal cookie, i figured that out 45 minutes into my exam
You're on Grindr at the STD clinic. I love you.
YOUR DICK HAS BEEN IN ME I DO NOT WANT TO BE SET UP TO MEET YOUR FRIENDS
Do you have any puffy paint? I want to put "fiesta muthafuckas" on my sombrero but its too much to bedazzle.
We are the best cocktail. We look appealing, taste amazing, and ruin lives.
Like seriously, I would not be going if there wasn't pizza
My New Years resolution is actually to be MORE petty
Never let your siblings swipe right.
Sorry, I didn't know he was with you. The ongoing collapse of Trump has me horny as hell.
Randomize
