this wart on my finger ripped off while i was fingering this girl the other night. she thought she had gotten her period and started crying so i went with. its better for both of us that way
I'm not high anymore, I decide when it's done.
I cant watch the real world now after jersey shore. its like trying to go back to vagina once uve had anal
She played chubby bunny with our cocks.. She got 4
I don't care how high you are, you can't finger me while eating potato chips.
The chick got into the cab with us and said we have 3 chances to guess what she just stuck up her ass. Hello to you to!
My night just got really weird. In a sit down stall bathroom at this nice resturaunt and this guy walks in as I rip a humongous porcelain-splitting fart. Well, I hear him stop for a second. He then opens the door to the stall next to mine, sits down and says, "player two has entered the game."
Did you win?
Last night I made him sit on my bed and finish my burrito bowl as I chanted "brucey" over and over until he was done like they did in Matilda with the chocolate cake
I put his pb&j sandwich in my bra and never looked back
I just gave myself a foot massage. #SingleAsFuck
I was so drunk I got stuck in the middle of a revolving door
We were driving past a farm when he screamed at me to stop the car, then he jumped out and tried to ride a cow.
I have had flashes of 69ing, a strawberry flavored condom and begging him to sleep naked.
send nudes
from the living room?
I’m not saying you’re wrong, I’m just saying he’s denying what you’re saying.
Randomize
