new low.... made out with someone while peeing
I wasn't excited about it either, but if I was going to have her take a load on her face, role playing as some french dude is the least I could do
Im really high right now and the vending machine is broken and giving out free candy. Please kill me, my life will never get better than this
New game: Step 1) Turn on ESPN. Step 2) Drink every time someone says "LeBron."
I love how our sober spotter means you only have to stay sober enough to type your pin in an ATM
It's a bathroom floor kind of morning.
I like to think I'd be good at dodging genitalia.
It's been so long that I've occasionally forgotten I own a vagina
Its like he woke the dragon, and the dragon is hungry for a good dick.
Why is the clock ticking so loud? Now I know how Captain Hook feels.
I think I ripped my underwear last night doing drunk squats
On a scale of 1 to alcoholic in withdrawal how ready will you be to start drinking as soon as you arrive on campus?
Let's just say, I will never again lick an asshole.
I'm just too horny to handle empty house
Your vagina must be outstanding or have a secret entrance to Narnia if someone is will to fly from Texas for one night of it.
Randomize
