Women are like Alzheimers patiens. You can compliment them a million times in a day, but the next day is always a wash, you have to start all over.
pretty sure that I broke my nose during sexting. Life is grand.
yeah, he just sent me a picture of himself with his shirt off.... It didnt turn me on, it just made me want to buy him a big mac....
failed my one goal of the day: wake up before 2 pm.
You seriously need to keep doing my sexting for me. I just said something about "riding cock like a dick rodeo"
Then you ran outside and said you were gonna give the snowman a blowjob
It started as a joke and ended with a trip to the emergency room, a broken macbook and a gigantic hole in the concrete of my driveway.
I'm really really gonna try not to at least one night. The 4 day thanksgiving bender almost killed me last year
I walked in and saw him spread eagle on the couch beatin it, while he just pet the dog that sat there and stared. mom was pissed
Printed off fake 'Producer' Sundance badges for us. Pretty sure they double as free passes for getting laid by 'actresses'. Testing this theory tonight.
I sent him a naked picture of me with the caption "I lost at beer pong, this was a dare. Hope your nights going as good as mine" I've never talked to him in my life, this is a strange way to start.
Pros and cons of selling your underwear to a guy on craigslist. Go.
Come down off the roof.
Try not to get arrested for it, but otherwise i support you
He's CUTE. and foreign
Judging by the ckaw marks on my back i'm gonna go out on a limb and say that blonde chick was a werewolf. A sexy, kinky werewolf.
I bought a machete, tennis balls, and matches. How is this NOT going to be a great night?
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