They had miseltoe over the keg.... thats cheating
Just walked by a group of guys calling out walks of shame with a mega phone from their front porch.
watching "look who's talking now." getting choked up at the end when they find each other at the cabin
doesn't that movie star kirstie alley and have talking dogs in it? new low...even for you
I can already almost taste penis in my mouth
Oh we will ALWAYS be together. Or I'll have to delete my Facebook altogether. I've drunkenly boobie trapped photos of us into every album. There's no way I'd ever have the patience to go through that deletion process.
And they were awkwardly all over each other in a Christian way.
Should I feel guilty that my husband is cheating on his girlfriend with me? I mean, we're not divorced yet so I still have dibs, right?
Teeth make me feel like a dinosaur. Can you feel yours?
What happened to the good old days when we whispered the words beer pong and people came running?
I literally farted midsex as a siren for him to get the fuck off me.. No such luck.
Should I take a fireball shot or brush my teeth?
Current state of being: shivering like a new born kitten on the bathroom floor
We've been taking shots, cranking Marilyn Manson, and eating your bacon. Your kid is probably ruined.
My mom is worried I'm not eating enough protein so she's sending me 48 cans of tuna. That's not a typo.
Are you coming over for scrambled eggs and hand jobs?
Randomize
