Saw a dead body on the way to the casino. I think that's a good sign.
last week i woke up at this guys house...this week i woke up at his ex girlfriends
So she said she wears a diaper when she's on her period and I'm not going to lie, I kind of want to see the diaper.
I feel like my whole life has been one big pre-game for Mexico.
so apparently dipping a tampon in red gatorade and throwing it out the window on the highway is a $100 fine
I kept telling myself all night that it was completely okay for me to lose all sense of my morals because it was my birthday.
When you started Hi-fiving people I knew u were fucking gone. You slapped some dude on the shoulder when he wouldn't hi-five you and he asked if he even knew you
He was with one girl when I went to bed, wad with another when I woke up and now he just told me he was with a 3rd in-between last night and this morning. Jesus Christ.
He just lit his joint with the tiki torches around his pool. He is definitely coming to my future parties
We've gotten 3 pitchers already by trading for CUPCAKES
I woke up to find his roommate face down on the couch with no pants on, with a sticky note that said "was lost but now am found"
You kept going up to guys in plaid and screaming "are you a lumberjack" in their faces
Much like Dre, I was forgotten about.
You can get gift cards to the liquor store! This changes everything.
Accidentally made a bowl of macaroni and cheese with a bottle of vodka. It's not that bad
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