I know, he also has a fancy car to make up for his tiny penis
I love sluts.
I end my prayers with that every single night.
So there is a guy driving a robot around the college of engineering selling energy drinks
It was 5 a.m. and we found him making margaritas with nyquil...
It's like that depressing moment when you drop your cocaine in the snow.
karaoke mosh pit has descended into fisticuffs, send backup
He said he wanted to have butt sex with me and curl up with me after and just be near me. Then he passed out.
I blew him while he was standing up and he drooled on my head
It's my vagina- remember its magical and yes I just did mini spirit fingers
That was like a fiery explosion of flailing arms and wonderful passion
I think I must have activated my bat signal.... All three of my FWBs contacted me today!
I'm wearing a sports bra. Of course I'm not getting laid tonight.
you ass-dialed me while you were fucking my ex.
that was on purpose.
I told you that you couldn’t eat fifty tacos, you slapped me in the face, ate seventeen tacos, and fell asleep on my floor
It wasn't my fault.
You let her suck your neck. Yes it was your fault.
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