Shit chicky whatchu wearin rt now, ur skins?
Oh dear, kinda... in ur sweats!
U look good, r we getting naked in ur car?
wait.. the condom broke. ehh whatever i think im already 2 months pregnant
And i was thinking, 'i'm happy to be underneath you, but i wish you weren't doing THAT.'
he got up in front of the whole lecture hall and yelled that Charlie Brown's Christmas tree was his favorite book in the history of the universe. then he stumbled out the fire exit setting the alarm off. I could've jumped him right then and there.
he aimed his bare ass at the sparkler, farted, and it really did work...i love 4th of july anal fire works
Sorry about bonging beers with your mom but in all fairness you were late...
We both bought three foot bongs...going to race to see who can smoke a mile first.
Besides the whole peeing blood for a week thing, it was the best sex of my life.
Ugh I just wanna make an announcement like: Attention high school classmates: if we haven't spoken in 5 years, we don't need to start now. Please be on your way
The party went downhill once the fire department had to be called to put out the kitchen fire.
I'm getting turned down for sex. Apparently my "sexual appetite" cannot be satiated even by a man who's such a deviant he went to prison for jerking off in his car.
I have a surprise for you guys
What is it?
A MOTHER FUCKING SURPRISE DON'T ASK QUESTIONS
Btw... when someone is licking your balls, "yeah... that's not the worst thing in the world" is not an appropriate compliment/thank you.
He walked in at 7am saying that the police had his shoes and phone because he's being investigated for attempted auto theft.
she fell THROUGH the wall. All in all id have to say that my neighbors where pretty chill about it tho.
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