Remember that time I came into your room after taking a muscle relaxant and we argued about what state has the longest coastline?
so then she threw up in his asshole
yep..that'll do it.
It really wasent that hard. The male one had a M and the woman one had a W. I just couldent comprehend that at the time.
An alarm set every 45 minutes saying "FATTY" and one every afternoon saying "CASPER" every day until spring break is a foolproof plan to being bikini ready
You kept saying "sir officer" which would have been polite and helped you if it wasn't a female. She was pissed.
Two portable blenders. We are going to be popular and dangerous.
Just drove through Taco Johns wearing a drug rug and no pants. When I rolled down my window, the girl paused for a minute before saying "um... 4.07"
I went out in a blaze of glory. I failed the field sobriety test by saying ABCD FUCK YOU.
Making jello shots drunk, i apologize ahead of time if they are too strong Can't taste anything.
Apparently you can legally be topless in Boulder, CO. Get on it.
Now that weed is legalized There needs to be reusable bags for people to pick up with. All this plastic is so bad for the environment and a waste
It was like coming out my mothers vagina again in slow motion
I just smoked a bowl alone and took my Zyrtec here's to a full night.
Apparently I was drunk enough to call he police station and ask if there was a problem with me.
The coke machine at work is laughing at me. Literally. I just heard laughter from the coke machine
Randomize
