Come get meeee. I'm stranded in the middle of no where with Paul (?). I think u puked on his friend.
3 st and 6 ave. One dollar pitchers. Look out world.
I'm in that akward stage between jailbait and cougar
i'm gonna start putting 34DD under other qualifications on my bartender applications and see if that helps
I woke up next to her this morning and couldn't remember her name. Luckily, she had written it on my hand so that I could add her on facebook.
you know its bad when everytime i put on a shirt i think of who i hooked up with in it
Did I crawl through the hotel lobby all the way to our room?
I think I used your jacking off shit when I showered. I couldn't see shit, it was all oily. Fuck power outages
Why is there a blood-covered "sorry about your stuff" note stapled to my door?
I stole a fireplace last night.
i'm laying here naked in a pile of empty landshark bottles, is lauren still hiding under the toilet?
Nah I think he's a bit weirded out I worked out where he lives from a Facebook photo
I was not drunk. There was Star Wars, sex, and baby oil.
Jungle juice breakfast? No? Ok.
I’m doing some soul searching to figure out how much of a slut I’m going to be the rest of the summer.
Randomize
